Emotions & Tears — A Sign of Movement, Not Weakness

There is one recurring moment in coaching that never stops fascinating me.

It’s raw. It’s honest. It’s human and yet, almost every time it shows up, we apologize for it.

In my coaching sessions, people often cry. And almost every time, it is followed by the same reflex and sentence: “I’m sorry.

People cry out of frustration,they feel sadness about a poor working relationship, they express anger because they don’t dare to move or take action.

But what if tears are not something to apologize for. They are not a disruption of the process.

They are the process.

What if all emotions are a crucial step in transformation. Without emotion, there is no real movement. Without movement, there is no change.

What Neuroscience Tells Us About Change

From a neuroscience perspective, this all makes perfect sense.

Our brain is wired for survival. Deep inside the brain sits the amygdala, our clever alarm system. When something feels uncertain or threatening, it activates stress responses. Change, even positive change, is often interpreted as a threat.

The brain constantly scans for two fundamental needs:

• Safety

• Belonging

  
  

When those needs feel at risk, we see resistance, frustration, withdrawal, or even anger.

Not because people are unwilling, but because their brain is trying to protect them.

Models like The SCARF Model by David Rock explain how status, certainty, autonomy, relatedness, and fairness strongly influence how safe we feel in change processes.

When safety increases, the prefrontal cortex responsible for reasoning, creativity, and decision-making comes back online. That’s when insight happens. That’s when ownership emerges. And sometimes, that moment .....yes.....is accompanied by tears.

Why Traditional Change approaches Miss the Point

Many change approaches still focus too much on information,timelines, and process steps. They provide structure. They offer clarity. And ofcourse this is also very important to understand the change.

But structure alone does not create movement.

We live in a world where the speed of change is enormous. Organizations are in continuous transformation. It is no longer about guiding people through one change. It is about leading teams through non-stop change.

And in continuous change, emotions don’t disappear, they accumulate. If we ignore them, resistance grows silently.If we acknowledge them, energy is released.

Emotions as the Engine of Team Transformation

In coaching, when someone allows themselves to feel frustration, sadness or fear, something shifts. The defensive walls soften. New perspectives emerge.

The same applies to teams.

A team in change needs:

• Psychological safety

• Space for emotion

• Honest dialogue

• Shared meaning

  
  

A Different Way to Lead Change

When teams feel safe, they move. When they move, impact follows.

The more recent and sustainable change approaches all recognize: The difference lies in how explicitly they work with emotion.

Are we still “managing” resistance or are we consciously working with the emotional energy underneath it?

At Neolis, we introduced a powerful model to guide teams through continuous change. A model focused not only on process, but on impact and movement.

Simple.Powerful.Effective.

Because it starts where real change starts: in the brain, in emotion, in safety.

Change is not a rational journey.

It is a human one.

If you want to know more about how we help teams and leaders to navigate non-stop change and create real movement, or share your thoughts, feel free to get in touch with me or one of my colleagues at www.neolis.be

And remember, strong professionals feel deeply too. Doubt, frustration, anger or tears are not signs of weakness, they are signals that something meaningful is at stake.

If you’re at a crossroads in your career and notice that emotions are running

high, that might be exactly the right moment to pause and explore what wants to change.

I’m here if you want to have that conversation, feel free to reach out via linkedin or book a conversation with me https://calendly.com/talentspots/let-s-connect-explore?back=1